Mr.Bean vs Teacher.. Very Funny

Teacher : Little Mr.Bean, assuming you were at a bus stop and Terrorist throws a bomb. What will you do ?
Little Mr.Bean : I will stop assuming…..

Teacher : What is a verb ?
Little Mr.Bean : A verb is a valve in a bicycle Tyre.

Teacher : What are You saying ?
Little Mr.Bean : Its a complete sentence sir.

Teacher : Are You mad ?
Little Mr.Bean : Its a question sir

Teacher : don't be ...stupid
Little Mr.Bean : Its an advice sir.

Teacher : stop that nonsense!
Little Mr.Bean : Its a command sir.

Teacher : You are an idiot
Little Mr.Bean : Its an insult sir.

Teacher : Get out of my class!
Little Mr.Bean : Its an order sir.

Teacher : Oh goodness!,,,, what a boy!,,,,
Little Mr.Bean : Its an exclamation sir.

Teacher : May God have mercy on You.
Little Mr.Bean : Its a prayer sir …..

the teacher fainted!!

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on.

Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you… and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself… and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn’t always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself… and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties… and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.”

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat abalanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people… and you learn not to always take it personally. You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

Situations Change With Time

A poor boy was in love with a rich man daughter….One day the boy proposed to her and the girl said…”Hey! Listen, your monthly salary is my daily hand expenses..How can I be involved with you..?

How could you have thought of that? I can never love you, so forget about me and get engaged to someone else OF your level”

But somehow the boy could not forget her so easily…..Some time 10 years later they stumbled into each other in a shopping mall.

The lady again said….,”Hey.. ! You! How are you? Now I’m married and do you know how much my husband’s salary is..? $15,700 per month! Can you beat that? And he is also very smart”

The guy’s eyes got wet with tears on hearing those words from the same lady….

A few seconds later, her husband came around but before the lady could say a word her husband seeing the guy, said……
“Sir you’re here and you’ve met my wife..” Then he said to his wife,”This is my boss, I’m also one of those working on his $100 million project!

And do you know a fact my dear? My boss loved a lady but he couldn’t win her heart….That’s why he has remained unmarried since.

How lucky would that lady have been, if she had married this my boss now? These days, who would love someone that much he said all these to his wife.

The lady looked in total shock but couldn’t utter a word….

Final Words:

Life is so short and it’s just like a mirror.
You can only see as much as it reflects. So don’t be too arrogant or proud by looking down on others because of their current situations.

Things get changed with time just like the weather..! Don’t underestimate anyone because everyone has a different story!

21 Suggestions for Success

1) Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

2) Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.

3) Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

4) Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

5) Be forgiving of yourself and others.

6) Be generous.

7) Have a grateful heart.

Persistence, persistence, persistence.

9) Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

10) Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

11) Commit yourself to constant improvement.

12) Commit yourself to quality.

13) Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.

14) Be loyal.

15) Be honest.

16) Be a self-starter.

17)Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.

18) Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

19) Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.

20) Take good care of those you love.

21) Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud.

IT'S NOT THAT I DON’T GET HURT, IT'S JUST THAT I AM USED TO IT NOW

17th February.2013 late night around 12:15. I was warm and cosy in my bed ready to sleep when suddenly my phone vibrated. I was shocked to see that who would call me at this time? I half opened my eyes and saw, it was “HIM”. I was thunderstruck to see his call. After 12 days he contacted me? Yes! “12 DAYS”. Can you imagine diary? At one point of time, he was the same guy who couldn’t even spend a day without conversing with me, the same guy who used to talk to for hours tirelessly, the same guy who said that I am his foremost priority and will alwayz be, the same guy who I thought was in love with me.

I don’t know what happened suddenly. Why this gap arouse among us, between our relationship. A few days back it was all normal, we had no fights, no arguments, no taunts, nothing at all. We were happy as always then why this gap? Why he started ignoring me for just no reason? It's not that I didn’t try to contact him. I contacted him many times but everytime he ignored my call or even if he answered I couldn't feel the same old him, he didn’t even bother to reply to any message of mine. I used to wonder that he had time to stay online on facebook and what's app for hours but not a single second to text me back. YES, I WAS HURT. He hurt me, his ignorance hurt me a lot. It just killed me from within. I used to cry, cry like anything coz of his changed attitude towards me but when I saw that he doesn’t even bother to know if I am alive or not then I also decided to change my behaviour coz everything has a limit and his ignorance crossed my patience limit now.

I decided to stay happy now even if it's without him. It was very difficult in the beginning, whole day long all I could think was “HIM”, ”ONLY HIM”. His thoughts, our memories, our old talks surrounded me but I controlled myself somehow and didn’t contact him at all. You know what diary? It worked! Yes, it did work. After a week I GOT USED TO HIS IGNORANCE. Now I stopped waiting for his call, I stopped checking his what's app and facebook status, I indulged myself totally into other things which interest me. I just diverted my attention and day by day, I started getting better and even better. Now after 12 days he is contacting me, while thousands of things were flooded in my mind, I just picked his call normally and said “HELLO”.

He called me up for some work. Yes, he always remember me when he has some work from me, otherwise I am no one in his life now but still I helped him out. After his work was done, I was just about to cut the call when he suddenly asked very normally as if nothing happened “Hey stop, you don’t wanna talk? You sound so changed. Anything wrong?” I replied “I want to talk but not now as I am a bit sleepy and I have other priorities in my busy life just like you have.” He was a bit shocked hearing my reply, may be he felt guilty. He apologized. I forgave him as always but I don’t think I will be ever the same as I was before...

“COZ IT'S NOT THAT I DON’T GET HURT, IT'S JUST THAT I AM WAY TOO USED TO IT NOW” 

My Wife DOES NOT WORK !!!

Conversation between a Husband (H) and a Psychologist (P):

P : What do you do for a living Mr. Bandy?
H : I work as an Accountant in a Bank.

P : Your Wife ?
H : She doesn't work. She's a Housewife only.

P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the morning?
H : My Wife, because she doesn't work.

P : At what time does your wife wake up for making breakfast?
H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she cleans the house first before making breakfast.

P : How do your kids go to school?
H : My wife takes them to school, because she doesn't work.

P : After taking your kids to school, what does she do?
H : She goes to the market, then goes back home for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn't work.

P : In the evening, after you go back home from office, what do you do?
H : Take rest, because i'm tired due to all day works.

P : What does your wife do then?
H : She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house then taking kids to bed.

Whom do you think works more, from the story above???

The daily routines of your wives commence from early morning to late night. That is called 'DOESN'T WORK'??!!

Yes, Being Housewives do not need Certificate of Study, even High Position, but their ROLE/PART is very important!

Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are uncountable. This should be a reminder and reflection for all of us to understand and appreciate each others roles.
he stares at you

EGO…?? BUT TILL WHEN…??

29th May.2013 Dear Diary, it’z been yet another day…and still no contact…all blank…no message…no whatz app…no facebook contact either…I checked my phone it waz 11:30 p.m. already…I saw his contact pressed the call option and within a second I cut it…but why…?? Why did I cut the call…??

Why didn’t I kept it ringing…?? Why I am thinking so much…?? And thinking for what…?? Thinking a thousand timez to contact the person I love…?? Thinking to contact the one whom I keep thinking about whole day long…?? You know diary I MISS HIM…I miss him a lot…I LOVE HIM…I love him a lot indeed…but still there is something which is restricting me…!!

After a deep thinking I realized that “SOMETHING” is nothing but my so called “EGO”…yes my ego is restricting me…yes my ego is acting as a hinderance between us…I alwayz expect him to contact me…like in my present situation we had a fight a week back and I feel it’z his mistake and he feelz it’z mine so we both stopped talking and we both are waiting and expecting eachother to contact first…!!

And itz nothing but our “EGO” which is spoiling our beautiful relation…I alwayz expect him to contact…may be coz he alwayz does or may be coz I am a bit used to it…but thatz wrong coz ultimately itz our “RELATION” that matterz the most not our “EGO”…our relation is our priority…can’t I being a girl contact him…?? Cant I sort thingz up…?? Yes I can and I did the same and u know what diary…thingz are all sort now…so alwayz remember…

"EGO SPOILZ A WONDERFUL BOND SO BETTER KEEP IT ASIDE TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP ALIVE" 

Tips to win your wife's heart:

If your wife is still asleep when you have woken up, give her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

Watch your wife’s beauty secretly.

Whenever you have the opportunity, offer her a flower or a bouquet of flowers with a smile.

Rather than trying to satisfy her too much, feel and say that YOU are satisfied with her. Your own satisfaction will satisfy her.

On coming back home every time, give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

Tell her that she looked really nice when she was asleep last night.

Feel that you have never seen anybody like her and let her know it.

Don’t look for her body. That’s already yours. Rather look for her mind. She’s looking for opportunities to offer it to you.

Sometimes act like a child and let her teach you something. She can teach you some things that nobody else can.

Look her into the eyes and smile.

I GUESS YOU FOUND SOMEONE BETTER

3rd February.2013 around 11:40 p.m. I was in my room surfing net when suddenly my phone vibrated. It was a call, I rushed to my study table, with loads of expectations in my eyes within a second I picked my phone and saw the caller. It wasn’t “HIM” again. In rage I cut the call and threw my phone. This is what I am going through since past 1 month. </3

It has been almost a year since we together but I am amazed that even after an year he actually has no attachment with me. We are not talking normally from past 1 month but still it seems as if he doesn’t care at all. He is happy like that, without me. It hurts, it really does, specially when you see your only and only LOVE happy without you. I am upset. I don’t know what went wrong? What did I do? Why I am being punished? Why is he ignoring me? I just loved him through the core of my heart even then he did this to me. Why?

Everytime I call him at night his phone is busy. He doesn’t even care to call back. Even from some mutual friends I got to know that he is always out and busy and that too most probably with some girl. I even checked his status on whats app, it was dedicated to someone, obviously to some girl. I see him online on chat for hours but he never bothers to reply me, not even once. He is not even bothered to know if I am alive or not. May be my LOVE for him went wrong somewhere. Thats why I am being punished like this.

Or may be he found someone “BETTER” thats why I am being ignored like this. Yes, he found someone better, someone more beautiful, someone more lovely, someone more charming but there is one thing at which no one can ever replace me and that is my true and pure “LOVE” towards him. NO ONE can love him more than I do. I am heart broken, I am shattered, I am smashed. This pain of being replaced actually hurts. I wish from the core of my heart that one day, may he realize what he did to me, so that he doesn’t repeat this again with someone else, so that he realize what this feeling of being hurt is, so that he realize what this feeling of being replaced is... 

Employee Vs Boss

Employee: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?

Boss: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?

Employee: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.

Boss: Yes.

Employee: I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.

Boss: A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.

Employee: I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro- activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.

Boss: Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?

Employee: Great! It's a deal! Thank you, sir!

Boss: Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?

Employee: Oh, Truworths, my landlord, my credit card companies & loan sharks!

A Old Lamp...Wishes

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.' The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.' Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress. 'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.

'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live. It's brilliant!''

That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact amount of money is always there,' says the man.

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt & long legs who agrees with everything I say'

MORAL OF THE STORY: Men are brilliant until they think about a woman

Life AWesome Must Read

"No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake
 up each day and be thankful for life.
 Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive."

Have little thanks, because there is much for all of us to
 be grateful for. Instead of sitting back and keeping your

 mind on things that you cannot change, or things that you
 wish others would change about themselves, make your
 time more meaningful by showing and giving thanks.

You may not be where you want to be in your life at this
 very moment, but thank God that you aren’t where you

 used to be. You may not have the best support system
 in the world, but thank God you still have family and friends.

You may not be in the relationship you desire to be in for
 the rest of your life, but thank God you have your own mind,

 time, and your own free will to be able to make
 the best decisions for you and your future.

There is so much to be thankful for, be sure to be able to

 take notice and give thanks for even the little things going

 right in your life. There is much honor in a person full of gratitude.

A Son’s Letter to His Mom

A Son’s Letter to His Mom


Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: “How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?”

The surgeon said, “I’m sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn’t make it.”

Sally said, “Why do little children get cancer? Doesn’t God care any more? Where were you, God,

 when my son needed you?”The surgeon asked, “Would you like some time alone with your son?

One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he’s transported to the university.”Sally

asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good-bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly

through his thick red curly hair.“Would you like a lock of his hair?” the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes.

 The nurse cut a lock of the boy’s hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to her . The mother said,

“It was Jimmy’s idea to donate his body to the university for study. He said it might help somebody else.

 “I said no at first, but Jimmy said, ‘Mom, I won’t be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some

 other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.” She went on, “My Jimmy had a heart of gold.

Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.”

Sally walked out of Children’s Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy’s belongings on the seat beside her in the car. It was difficult drive to home. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy’s belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son’s room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:

“Dear Mom,

I know you’re going to miss me; but don’t think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just ’cause

 I’m not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day.

 Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won’t be so

lonely, that’s okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get

a girl instead, she probably wouldn’t like the same things us boys do. You’ll have to buy her dolls

and stuff girls like, you know. Don’t be sad thinking about me.

This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around

some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And,

you know what? Jesus doesn’t look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him.

Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God’s knee and talk to Him,

 like I was somebody important. That’s when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you

good-bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn’t allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God

handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name

 of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one

 of the questions you asked Him ‘Where was He when I needed him?’ “God said He was in the same

place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His

children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I’ve written except you. To everyone else this is just a

 blank piece of paper. Isn’t that cool? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some

 more names in the Book of Life.Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I’m, sure the

food will be great.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don’t hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I’m glad because I couldn’t

stand that pain anymore and God couldn’t stand to see me hurt so much, either. That’s when He sent The

Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from: God, Jesus & Me.”

Employee vs Boss ~ Funny Story

An employee goes to his boss to discuss his appraisal. Boss starts asking questions:

Boss - There are 50 bricks on an airplane. If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?

Employee - That's easy. There are 49 left.

Boss - How would you put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee - Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Then close the fridge.

Boss - How would you put a deer into the fridge?

Employee - Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Then close the fridge.

Boss - It's the lion's birthday. All animals are at the party except one. Who is missing & why?

Employee - Deer is missing because it is in the fridge.

Boss - An old woman wants to cross a swamp
filled with crocodiles. How will she do it?

Employee - She just has to cross from 1 side to the other because all the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday party.

Boss - Last question. The old lady still died why crossing the swamp. How?

Employee - Err... I guess she drowned?

Boss - No! She was hit by the brick that fell from the airplane.

You may leave.

Divorce after 35 years !!

Very nice story

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,

'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years

of marriage... and that much misery is enough!'

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.

'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong

and tell her!'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not getting divorced.

 Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there

 tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're

 both coming for our anniversary and paying their own airfare!!'

MORAL:

No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if

you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

OFFICE WORK or MONEY MAKING is not everything in life !!!!

Share the above story in all groups.

MUST READ SLOWLY..

Two sisters inherited the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they were in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they needed to purchase a bull so that they could breed their own stock.

The sister who balanced their checkbook, a brunette, took their last 600 dollars out west to a ranch where a

man had a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she told her blonde sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy

 the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrived at the man’s ranch, inspected the bull, and decided she did want to buy it.

The man told her that he would sell it for 599 dollars, no less. After paying him, she drove to

the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walked into the telegraph office, and said, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her

 that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive

out here so we can haul it home.”

The telegraph operator explained that he’d be glad to help her, then added, “It’s just 99 cents a word.”

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only had 1 dollar left. She realized that she’d only be able

 to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nodded, and said, “I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’”

The telegraph operator shook his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the

trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the

 word, ‘comfortable’?”

The sister explained, “She’ll read it very slowly: Come-for-the-bull”

A Letter From Heaven, Emotional And Meaningful

When tomorrow starts without me

And I'm not there to see;

If the sun should rise and find your eyes

All filled with tears for me.

I wish so much you wouldn't cry

The way you did today;

While thinking of the many things

We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me

As much as I love you;

And each time that you think of me,

I know you'll miss me too.

when tomorrow starts without me,

Don't think we're far apart

For every time you think of me,

I'm right here in your heart.

Share if you miss someone in Heaven

Very Very Cute & Funny Too

One Day Mother was out, and dad was in charge.

She was maybe 2 1/2 years old.

Someone had given her a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of her favorite toys.

 Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when she brought him a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, mom came home.

Dad made her wait in the living room to watch her bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!'

Mom waited, and sure enough, here she came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.

Then she said, (as only a mother would know),

"'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

Wrong number ~ Very Very Funny.. Must Read

A man at work calls home and his 8 years old daughter picks the phone:

“Hi honey,this is daddy.Is mommy near the phone?”

“No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quipped.

“After a brief pause daddy says,“But honey you haven’t got an uncle Paul!”

“Oh yes I do,and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now.”

Brief pause,“Uh okay then,this is what I want you to do:put the phone down on the table,run upstairs,knock on the bedroom door,and shout to mommy that daddy’s car has just arrived at the gate.”

“Ok daddy just a minute....”

A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, “Done it daddy.

”"What happened honey?”

“Well, mommy got scared and jumped out of the bed naked,ran round the room screaming,tripped over,and knocked her head on the staircase,now she is not moving at all.”

“What about Uncle Paul?” asked Dad. He jumped out the window into the swimming pool,but I guess he didn’t know you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he’s dead.”

After a really long pause this time... Daddy says,“Swimming pool,but we don't have a swimming pool! Is this 486-5731?”

“No,this is 486-5713” “Sorry wrong number....!!!!”  

I AM STILL A BABY DOLL

I am 19, my teenage is almost about to get over, my parents now see me as a grown up n mature girl.

 To be honest, even I love being called mature, seems so good when people specially your parents

 call u “MATURE” but there is a huge difference between “BEING MATURE” n “ACTING MATURE”.

At times I feel that I act as if I am mature, as if I understand everything although in reality I am least

interested in such stuffs.

Sometimes I feel is it actually good to do so.? I guess at times “YES”. What I feel is that we just

 have one life, only one and I believe one must enjoy his/her life to the fullest.

 So what if we grew up? Don’t we have the right to live free? Coz no matter how much old we are,

 our heart n mind is still the same. I feel at times it's good to be childish, to do stupid things,

 to act crazy, to laugh unnecessarily, to imagine, imagine things that u would like to happen,

 to go in an imaginary world named “FAIRYLAND”, to act like a “PRINCESS” and a “BARBIE-DOLL”.

At times it's good to be just u, to just dance for no reason, to sing n go “gaga”, to hug your loved

ones instantly from the back, to scare them, to tell your loved ones u love them, to hold his/her

 hand while walking, to play the stare game, to pillow fight, to dance crazily in the rain, to

jump in a flower bed, to feel the fresh dew drops on plants early in the morning,

 to feel it's freshness, to sleep beneath the sky, to feel the stars, to feel the beauty of nature.

At times it's good to be a “BABY DOLL”, demanding things, being crazily happy when

u get them, eating chocolates, at times it's good to set yourself free, free from thinking that

 “WHAT WOULD OTHERS THINK?” It's your life n it's you who is living it so it's

only n only “U” who should mind it, no matter what u do, ”OTHERS” will always speak

 something or the other so why give a damn? “LIVE CAREFREE” coz at times it's good

to listen to your heart n do what your heart says, always remember when u grow old,

ready to leave the world, all you gonna remember is the decisions taken by your

“HEART” n not “BRAINS” so I feel at times it's good to be a “BABY DOLL”

and to live free 

Naked Wife:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door,

 there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says,

 “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops

 her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the

 towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says,

“Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a

position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Smartest Man In The World:

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane.

Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go

down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute and yelled to the passengers that they better jump, and he

himself bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.”

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life.

You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Not to worry Father.

 The smartest man in the world just took off with my back pack.”

Moral:

Your job doesn’t always define you, but being a Good Human being Does.

Husband & Wife Funny Conversation - Must Read

One Day An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone: ”Where the Hell are you …?”

Husband: Darling do you remember the jewellery shop where you saw a very beautiful gold necklace and were desperate to buy it, but I didn’t have the money but promised to get it later when I get my salary…

Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Sure I remember it my dear.

Husband: I am in the cafe next to that jewellery shop!!

Few Hours Later,

Husband sends a text message to his wife: “Hi, what are you doing Darling?”

Wife: I’m dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types “Sweet Heart, how can I live without you?”

Wife: “You fool! I am dying my hair..”

Husband: “Bloody English Language

Before Sleeping,

Wife : How much do you love me ?

Husband : I love U so much, I can't measure.

Wife : No just tell me....

Husband : Okay, I am like a cell phone & you are my sim card, i am nothing without you...

Wife : Wow ! that's so romantic...

Husband (saying to himself): Thank God she doesn't know, this is a Chinese phone, with FOUR sim cards...

A girl’s thought…?

Marriage is an important phase of life for everyone but for a girl its the most amazing decision of her life.

… A girls dreams and wishes for her life partner…..

I want a husband who would hold my hand in lines at the mall ..or while crossing roads..so that i feel protected

I want someone who would sing to me at random moments…:)

Someone who wud respect my maturity and love my innocence too.

Someone who will who would ensure that I fulfill my obligations to Allah and help me earn Jannatul Firdous.

Someone who would let me fulfill my responsibilities towards my mum&dad and would love my family like his own

I want a guy who will accept me with love and make me feel a part of his family.

Someone who I could share my fears, my laughs, my smile and my tears with .

Someone who would not get angry over my mistakes instead scold me like my mother n then help me to learn not to do it again

But mostly, someone who would b loyal to me and will always be the reason for my smile

And I promise to such a guy that I would always prove his trust right, i would be his family, and i would love and respect his parents, jus as they wud respect me.

Compromise says:-
Its better to change a little rather than to lose someone forever

Ego says:-
Its always better to leave the one who wants to change you.

“Choice Is always Yours” !

Don’t lower your standards to ‘keep’ anyone, if they’re not making you happy, it’s time to find someone who does.

It’s not easy to be strong when you are weak ,

It’s not easy to be patient when you are restless ,

It’s not easy to be happy when you are depressed ,

But It’s not hard to lift up your hands in supplication 

LOVE OR ADDICTION...??

15th May.2013 around 11:45 p.m. while I was simply relaxing in my room listening songs, suddenly my phone vibrated. I saw the caller, it was “HIM”. Trust me diary, I was dumbstruck. For a moment, my heart stopped beating. I went to our “FLASHBACK”. It's been 3 months almost since we broke up, not “WE”, actually “HE” broke up and that too for just no reason.

I begged him, pleaded him not to leave me as I loved him madly, as even the wildest thought of living without him scared me but ultimately he left and the worse part was that this wasn’t the first time he left. It has happened twice till the date. Yes, he came back twice saying that he loves me and realized it when I wasn’t with him. Everytime I gave him a chance and everytime he proved why I shouldn’t.

Now he is calling again, Why? What is this? Is this LOVE that is bringing him back to me again and again or is this “ADDICTION” which is bringing him back to me? I am damn confused. Is a THIRD CHANCE really worth it? Does he really deserves my true and unconditional love towards him for the third time also, that too after months?

I gave a deep thought and my inner conscious answered my question and you know what it said diary? It said “NO, A THIRD CHANCE ISN’T WORTH IT”. Yes, mistakes are a part of life and no one is perfect so at times we can mistake our love so a second chance may be worth it but a third chance is a clear sign of “ADDICTION” and not “LOVE”. True love never leaves you in between, true love never betrays you again and again so always remember that...

"A PERSON WHO LOVES YOU TRULY WON’T EVER LEAVE YOU HANGING IN THE MIDDLE NO MATTER HOW CUMBERSOME THE SITUATION IS"

So for now I saw “HIS” call and simply cut it and smiled at my decision coz this is what is right and truly justified for both of us. 

Passenger & The Taxi Driver

 A passenger tapped the taxi driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again.

You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first  day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

After Few Miles Away, A Passenger sees his wife entering a hotel with another man,  and tells the driver.

Do you want to Earn $500 right away ?

The driver excitedly said what do I have to do?

Bring my wife by the hair out of that hotel, here’s a picture of her.

After a while the driver is seen dragging a woman by the hair, While kicking and beating her and puts her in the Taxi.

And the Passenger says to him, “This is not my wife”

the driver replied ” Nooooo , this is mine, hold her for me.

I’m going for yours”

Funny Job Interview

Interviewer : Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Smith. I did my Tele Communication engineering from Rolex Institute of Technology.

Interviewer : Rolex Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candidate : Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it ..
What happened is – due to U18 Football world cup I scored badly! in School Level.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said “I can not invest so much of money”. So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name – Rolex Institute of Technology.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it ? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These Football matches really affect exams a lot.. I think they should ban it .

Interviewer : Good to know that you want Football matches to be banned.
Candidate : No, no… I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate : Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it . In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST through some relative.

Interviewer : Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing ‘lower’ education it self was so much of pain!!

Interviewer : Let’s talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Candidate : Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Lords is my current platforms. Earlier I was at Manchester. So Manchester was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! ( Lords and Manchester are the places in UK)

Interviewer : And which languages have you used?
Candidate :  English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate : It is a common sense – C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it . But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer : What is your general project experience?
Candidate : My general experience about projects is – most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Info Tech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer : Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn’t be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important – I know few words like – ‘Showstoppers ‘ , ‘hot fixes’, ‘SEI-CMM’, ‘quality’, ‘version control’, ‘deadlines’ , ‘Customer Satisfaction’ etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?Candidate : Not much.

1. I should at least get 5000$ in hand..

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

3. Dress Code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.

4. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.

5. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there are Olympics coming up in China in the current year, I don’t mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don’t have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer : he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to LOGIC SOFTWARE.

Result : The fellow was appointed in a newly created section ‘Stress Management’ in the HRD of LOGIC SOFTWARE.

The Waitress’ Tip

When an ice cream sundae cost much less, a boy entered a coffee shop and sat at a table.

A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” ”Fifty cents,” replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. “How much is a dish of plain ice cream?” he inquired.

Some people were now waiting for a table, and the waitress was impatient. “Thirty-five cents,” she said angrily.

The little boy again counted the coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream.” The waitress brought the ice cream and walked away. The boy finished, paid the cashier, and departed.

When the waitress came back, she swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies-her tip.

FRIENDSHIP VS LOVE

Friendship is a quiet walk in the park with the one you trust
Love is when you feel like you are the only two around

Friendship is when they gaze into your eyes and you know they care
Love is when they gaze into your eyes and it warms your heart

Friendship is being close even when you are far apart
Love is when you can still feel their hand on your heart when they are not near

Friendship is hoping that they experience the very best
Love is when you bring them the very best

Friendship occupies your mind
Love occupies your soul

Friendship is knowing that you will always try to be there when in need
Love is when you will give up everything to be at their side

Friendship is a warm smile in the winter
Love is a warming touch that sends a pulse through your heart

Love is a beautiful smile to which nothing compares
A tender laugh, which opens your heart
A single touch that melts away your fears
A smell that reminds you of the tenderness of heaven
A voice that reminds you of the innocence of youth

Friendship can survive without love
Love cannot live without friendship 

Whether Male Or Female

Whether Male Or Female, Must Read!!!

There was a man who loved his wife very much. The couple had 3 children.

He could give her everything he could but the woman never appreciated.

Though the man was not rich, but he could share all he had with her.

He could buy for her clothes and the only thing his wife could say was that the husband was fulfilling his duty as a Man.
The man would buy a dress but in reply, the woman would mock at him, because the dress was of low quality.
The man could smile at his wife and tell her
“One day, I will become rich and I will buy for you all the expensive things you need”
The woman could never make any phone call unless she was requesting anything from her husband and once her request was not granted, all she could do was to quarrel for days, sometimes fight.

One evening, the man was coming from work, he bought a Kilogram of meat, happily the poor man expecting to surprise his wife, he reached home found the wife and showed her the package,

Then she shouted: “eh! And you call yourself a man? Which husband, apart from you, do you think comes home with just one kilogram, no cooking oil, and no any other ingredients? You better leave it, you’re a good-for-nothing husband.”
Then she threw the meat to the bush and went back home.

The Husband felt low but he never let down his love for her.

One day, the husband felt pain in his left foot, and then a Tumor appeared on the foot, it then emerged growing big and more painful.
He went to the hospital after several months of pain and was found with cancer, he was poor to have a better medical care.
Though he was sick he tried much as he could to provide for his family.
Two years later the condition worsened and he was put in the special care unit, he was operated and the foot was removed,
But unfortunately it was too late, the Virus had affected more parts of the body and at last he called his wife and told him,
“LOOK AFTER MY CHILDREN, I feel I can’t live any longer though I’ll always be with you in spirit, may God be with you”

He then breathed his last and died.

The woman and three children cried, for days mourning, they buried him.
Two months later, the wife was bowing down on her husband’s grave as she said these words:

“My love,
You did all the best to me, you treated me well and gave me all you could, but all I could pay you, was endless quarrels and fights.
I never realized your importance and your love until when you are gone,
When I’m the one to provide food, clothing, education and many others.
I remember when I threw your one Kilogram of meat to the bush, but now I have nowhere to get even a Half a Kilo
‘THE GOOD DIE YOUNG’ that’s why you died when you were still young.
A husband whom I could mock at but you only smiled at me.
The husband who could care and had unending love.
I know you are listening to me and I ask you to forgive me for not appreciating all you did to me, when you were alive.
We are all missing your presence as your youngest daughter Diana is always crying asking when you’ll be back.
But you will never leave our hearts
Until we join you.
May you Rest in Eternal Peace.”

MORAL LESSON:
* Always appreciate what you are given, whether small or big.
* Love is not all about how much we have,
But it’s all about how we share the little we have.

RELEVANCY.
Have you ever taken time to thank God for what he has done for you?
Many people only remember God when they have problems and once their problems are solved, they don’t take time, to thank him or remain close to him.

*READ THIS LINE*
O God, I pray that you keep your providence towards me always and give me an appreciating heart so that I’ll always be thankful to whatever you give me AMEN.

If you have read the line, click LIKE and write AMEN to claim it .

A Must Read

Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives.

He loved the 4th wife the most and adored her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighbouring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another.

He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times.

The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!

One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, I now have four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.'

Thus, he asked the 4th wife , 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you.. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'
'No way!', replied the 4th wife, and she walked away without another word.
Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.

The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'
'No!', replied the 3rd wife. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!'
His heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me.
When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?'
'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the 2nd wife. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.'

Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning, and the King was devastated.

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.'
The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was very skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect.

Greatly grieved, the King said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'

In truth, we all have the 4 wives in our lives:

Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it will leave us when we die.

Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth .When we die, it will all go to others.

Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.

However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us where ever we go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the throne of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day:
Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray ..

Nails in the Fence

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.” You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.

True Love

This guy from England and this girl from Pakistan met online, and gradually began to chat to each other regularly

and became good friends After a few months, they expressed their love for each other.

     They were happily inlove for a few weeks, until one day suddenly the girl stopped responding to the guys

messages. He waited and waited ..
 Weeks passed, and he still sat by his internet awaiting her message, but nothing.. He was scared something had happened to her, his heart felt like it did but eventually he accepted the fact that their relationship was over. He was heartbroken ..

     He cried himself to sleep everyday reading her old love messages. After a few years, he had just started university.

        After all this years, he stayed away from girls because he couldn’t stand the heartbreak, but one girl took his fancy. A beautiful women, it was weird as he never even looked at girls before, but there was something special about her. So he approached her, but was rejected instantly.

 Boy: I’m sorry, if I offended you by saying I liked you. Girl: It’s not your fault .. It’s just that I’m already in love with someone .. Boy: Oh right, I’m sorry. Your already taken Girl: Actually no..

 I fell in love with a boy three years ago, he was from here, but due to the circumstances I had to leave him, but now as an excuse to study I have come here in search of him..

 Boy: Wow! Actually I’ve been through something similar! Girl: Really? What was her name? Boy: Alisha (when he looked down at the girls book it was labelled ‘Alisha’..)

 They embraced each other and burst into tears! Boy: Why did you leave me?? Girl: I met with a car accident, and was in the hospital paralysed for a year ..

 I only fully recovered 6 months ago. Everyone thought I was going to die, but the thought of seeing you kept me alive. When I got better, I planned to come and see you to surprise you,

you told me you would only want to go to  this university so I applied here too. MORAL: True love will always find it’s way; No matter what obstacles are in it’s path. If your love is true; Just wait for it to find you ..♥ 

Beautiful Love Story

A guy met a girl online, and gradually began to chat to each other regularly and became good friends.

After a few months, they expressed their love for each other. They were happily in love for a few weeks, until one day suddenly the girl stopped responding to the guys messages. He waited and waited ..

Weeks passed, and he still sat by his internet awaiting her message, but nothing..

He was scared something had happened to her, his heart felt like it did but eventually he accepted the fact that their relationship was over. He was heartbroken .. He cried himself to sleep everyday reading her old love messages.

After a few years, he had just started university. After all this years, he stayed away from girls because he couldn't stand the heartbreak, but one girl took his fancy.

A beautiful women, it was weird as he never even looked at girls before, but there was something special about her. So he approached her, but was rejected instantly.

Boy: I'm sorry, if I offended you by saying I liked you.

Girl: It's not your fault .. It's just that I'm already in love with someone ..

Boy: Oh right, I'm sorry. Your already taken

Girl: Actually no.. I fell in love with a boy three years ago, he was from here, but due to the circumstances I had to leave him, but now as an excuse to study I have come here in search of him..

Boy: Wow! Actually I've been through something similar!

Girl: Really? What was her name?

Boy: Alisha (when he looked down at the girls book it was labelled 'Alisha'..)

They embraced each other and burst into tears!

Boy: Why did you leave me??

Girl: I met with a car accident, and was in the hospital paralyzed for a year .. I only fully recovered 6 months ago. Everyone thought I was going to die, but the thought of seeing you kept me alive. When I got better, I planned to come and see you to surprise you, you told me you would only want to go to this university so I applied here too.

MORAL: True love will always find it's way; No matter what obstacles are in it's path. If your love is true; Just wait for it to find you ..?.?

Share if you are touched. 

A Box Full Of Kisses

A man punished his 3 year old little girl for wasting a precious roll of gold wrapping paper. His financial condition was tight and he was very angry when his girl tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Next day father was embarrassed when the little girl brought the gift to her father and said, “Daddy , This is for you” but his anger knew no bounds when he found the box empty.

He yelled at her, “Don’t you know that when you give someone a present, you have to have something inside ? ”

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said,”Oh, Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy.”

The father was crushed. He embraced the little girl, and begged for forgiveness.

The man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

We all have been blessed with a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family and God. There is no more precious possession.

I like YOUR THINKING

Teacher: Hey Guys... Could you please pay a little attention here?

Student: yes mam, I am paying as little attention as i can. !!

Teacher: who will tell the chemical formula of water?

One student: Its "h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o."

Teacher: What is this?

Student: Mam, yesterday you told us that it is H to O !!

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a tree and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little Johnny. "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like YOUR THINKING"

Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU.

Teacher Replies, K Tell Me..

Little Johny: There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies,

"Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on........

I like YOUR THINKING" 

The Real Pearl Necklace

Jenny was a bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl. One day when she and her mother were checking out at the grocery store, Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace priced at $2.50.

How she wanted that necklace, and when she asked her mother if she would buy it for her, her mother said, “Well, it is a pretty necklace, but it costs an awful lot of money. I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy you thenecklace, and when we get home we can make up a list of chore that you can do to pay for the necklace. And don’t forget that for your birthday Grandma just might give you a whole dollar bill, too. Okay?”

Jenny agreed, and her mother bought the pearl necklace for her. Jenny worked on her chores very hard every day, and sure enough, her grandma gave her a brand new dollar bill for her birthday. Soon Jenny had paid off the pearls.

How Jenny loved those pearls. She wore them everywhere-to kindergarten, bed and when she went out with her mother to run errands. The only time she didn’t wear them was in the shower; her mother had told her that they would turn her neck green.

Now Jenny had a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed, he would get up from his favorite chair every night and read Jenny her favorite story. One night when he finished the story, he said, “Jenny, do you love me?”

“Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you,” the little girl said.

“Well, then, give me your pearls.”

“Oh! Daddy, not my pearls!” Jenny said. “But you can have Rosie, my favorite doll. Remember her? You gave her to me last year for my birthday. And you can have her tea party outfit, too. Okay?”

“Oh no, darling, that’s okay.” Her father brushed her cheek with a kiss. “Good night, little one.” A week later, her father once again asked Jenny after her story, “Do you love me?”

“Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you.”

“Well, then, give me your pearls.”

Oh, Daddy, not my pearls! But you can have Ribbons, my toy horse. Do you remember her? She’s my favorite. Her hair is so soft, and you can play with it and braid it and everything. You can have Ribbons if you want her, Daddy,” the little girl said to her father.

“No, that’s okay,” her father said and brushed her cheek again with a kiss. “God bless you, little one. Sweet dreams.”

Several days later, when Jenny’s father came in to read her a story, Jenny was sitting on her bed and her lip was trembling. “Here, Daddy,” she said, and held out her hand.

She opened it and her beloved pearl necklace was inside. She let it slip into her father’s hand. With one hand her father held the plastic pearls and with the other he pulled out of his pocket a blue velvet box. Inside of the box were real, genuine, beautiful pearls.

He had them all along. He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap stuff so he could give her the real thing.

The same with our Heavenly Father, He is waiting for us to give up the cheap/fake things in our lives. Are you holding on to harmful relationships, habits, activities… which you have come so attached to that it seems impossible to let go? Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand but do believe one thing, God will never take away something without giving us something better.

A Poor Young Boy and The Dog

A few days ago I landed at the Bombay Airport (India) and took a cab to my scheduled destination in South Bombay.

I was enjoying the busy traffic with people rushing in every possible directions then we got stranded at a very busy intersection.

As we waited for the signal to turn green, my eyes met up with a poor young boy, about 12 years old. He removed a piece of bread from his pocket and took a bite.

As he was about to take his next bite, a stray dog wagged his tail looking at him. Without hesitation, he sat down and put the bread on the road for the dog to eat.

The dog sniffed the bread and walked away. The boy waited until he was sure the dog was gone then he picked up the bread and ate it!

My heart cried and wanted to walk up to the boy but before I could open the door the signal turned Green and our car drove away. I kept thinking about the boy and later during my evening meal I realized that I was thinking of approaching the boy but never did, I could have stopped the car and walked up to him which again I never did.

All I did was “thinking” and this poor little boy who had only one piece of bread without any hesitation sharing it with the dog, though he himself seemed to be very hungry.

I learnt one of the biggest lessons in my life which that boy taught me without a conversation. He taught me to share with love and happiness. I am so blessed to have learnt this beautiful lesson from my ‘little unknown master’. It is my moral duty to share this incident with all my friends across the globe and be blessed with happiness.

Thank you friends for making this world a beautiful place to dwell.

Give Your Best And The World Comes To You

Its Just Awesome... Read it....

A Little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a store and dialed a number. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy: “Lady, can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?”

Woman: (at the other end of the phone line) “I already have someone to cut my lawn.”

Boy: “Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now.”

Woman: “I’m very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting the lawn.”

Boy: (with more perseverance) “Lady, I’ll even sweep the floor and the stairs of your house for free.”

Woman: “No, thank you.”

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store-owner: “Son….I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.”

Boy: “No thanks.”

Store-owner: “But you were really pleading for one.”

Boy: “No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!”

*”This is called Self Appraisal”

Give your best and the world comes to you !!! 

How many of you love your husbands? ha ha ha.. Very Funny Reply

There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.

The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?'

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?'

Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn't remember..

The women were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective husband: I love you, sweetheart.
Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?

2. What now? Did you crash the car again?

3. I don't understand what you mean?

4. What did you do now? I won't forgive you this time!!!

5. ?!?

6. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?

7. Am I dreaming? ???????

8. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today...!!!

9. I asked you not to drink anymore!!

and the best one

10. Who is this?

Funny Wedding Anniversary

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, Romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful Fairy appeared on their table.

She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’

The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.‘

The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again…

I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me..‘

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!..

The husband became 92 years old!!!

Moral: Men should remember fairies are females too.

Principal vs Student - Who is Smarter??

One Night, 4 Engineering Students were playing Football till late night and didn't study for the Exam which Was scheduled for the next Day.

In the morning they thought of a plan, they made themselves look as dirty and untidy as possible with grease and dirt.

They then went up to the Principal and said that they had gone out to a Sister wedding last night and on their return the Tyre of their BMW Car burst.

They had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. So the Principal said they can have the re-test after 3 days, they thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Principal, the Principal said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name..........................(2 MARKS)

Q.2. Which tyre burst ?...............(98 MARKS)

a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right.....!!!

Perfect Man

A perfect man is not the one who promises to bring you the stars

or the moon to make you feel like you are in heaven. But the one

 who illuminates your darkest nights with his soulful and divine love

 and creates a heaven with his arms around you. Don’t look for a

man who is just good in bed but find a guy whom you can wake up

 to every morning knowing that he will never cheat on you physically

 and emotionally. A perfect man is the one who gives you that beautiful

 feeling of knowing that your loving heart is safe with him today,

 tomorrow and for the rest of your life. .

THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR

There was once a man who was ship-wrecked and stranded on an island. Every day he prayed asking God to send someone to rescue him, but to his disappointment, no one ever came.

Months passed and this man learned how to survive on the island. During this time, he accumulated things from the island and stored them in a hut that he constructed. One day after hunting for food and returning back to his hut, much to his dismay he saw that his hut was on fire along with everything else he owned!

All of his possessions were going up in smoke! The only thing he had left were the clothes on his back. Initially he was in shock, and then he was consumed with anger and rage!

In his fury he threw a fist into the air and began cursing God and yelling, “God, how could you let this happen to me? I’ve been praying everyday for months about being rescued and no one has come, and now everything that I have is on fire! How could you do to this to me! Why did you let this happen?”

Later the man was on his hands and knees weeping heavily when he happened to look up and catch sight of a ship coming in his direction. The man was rescued and as they were heading back to civilization the man asked the captain, “How were you able to find me?”

The captain responded, “We were voyaging across the ocean when we noticed on the horizon a column of smoke going up. We decided to go check it out and when we did, that’s when we found you!”

In life we are going to be confronted with challenges, problems, and disasters. But keep in mind that what the devil has meant for bad, God can transform into your good! What is a catastrophe can sometimes be a blessing in disguise. “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

Latest Cancer Information

                                      PLEASE SHARE IT TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT

AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY AND ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY …

      1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

            2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.

    3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.

 4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

 5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

     6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

  7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

   8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

   9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

    10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.


    11. An effective way to battle cancer is to STARVE the cancer cells by not feeding it with foods it needs to multiple.

                                               What cancer cells feed on:

a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Note: Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.


b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk, cancer cells will starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes t o nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells.

To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water--best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines will become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.

13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor.

Anger, unforgiving and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

                                     (PLEASE SHARE IT TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT)

I Can't Wait To See You !!

One Day A Rich man went London for Tour.. He Take a Rental Room in a 5 Star Hotel.

There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send a mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed the wrong email address, and without realizing, he sent the mail to a widow who has just returned from her husband's funeral.

The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message she fainted.

The son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read : "To my loving wife, i know you are surprised to hear from me, they have computers here and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones.

I have just checked in.

How are You and the kids, The place is really nice, but am lonely here.

I have made necessary arrangement for Your arrival tomorrow. Expecting you darling. I can't wait to see you!