Monday 31 March 2014

IT'S NOT THAT I DON’T GET HURT, IT'S JUST THAT I AM USED TO IT NOW




17th February.2013 late night around 12:15. I was warm and cosy in my bed ready to sleep when suddenly my phone vibrated. I was shocked to see that who would call me at this time? I half opened my eyes and saw, it was “HIM”. I was thunderstruck to see his call. After 12 days he contacted me? Yes! “12 DAYS”. Can you imagine diary? At one point of time, he was the same guy who couldn’t even spend a day without conversing with me, the same guy who used to talk to for hours tirelessly, the same guy who said that I am his foremost priority and will alwayz be, the same guy who I thought was in love with me.

I don’t know what happened suddenly. Why this gap arouse among us, between our relationship. A few days back it was all normal, we had no fights, no arguments, no taunts, nothing at all. We were happy as always then why this gap? Why he started ignoring me for just no reason? It's not that I didn’t try to contact him. I contacted him many times but everytime he ignored my call or even if he answered I couldn't feel the same old him, he didn’t even bother to reply to any message of mine. I used to wonder that he had time to stay online on facebook and what's app for hours but not a single second to text me back. YES, I WAS HURT. He hurt me, his ignorance hurt me a lot. It just killed me from within. I used to cry, cry like anything coz of his changed attitude towards me but when I saw that he doesn’t even bother to know if I am alive or not then I also decided to change my behaviour coz everything has a limit and his ignorance crossed my patience limit now.

I decided to stay happy now even if it's without him. It was very difficult in the beginning, whole day long all I could think was “HIM”, ”ONLY HIM”. His thoughts, our memories, our old talks surrounded me but I controlled myself somehow and didn’t contact him at all. You know what diary? It worked! Yes, it did work. After a week I GOT USED TO HIS IGNORANCE. Now I stopped waiting for his call, I stopped checking his what's app and facebook status, I indulged myself totally into other things which interest me. I just diverted my attention and day by day, I started getting better and even better. Now after 12 days he is contacting me, while thousands of things were flooded in my mind, I just picked his call normally and said “HELLO”.

He called me up for some work. Yes, he always remember me when he has some work from me, otherwise I am no one in his life now but still I helped him out. After his work was done, I was just about to cut the call when he suddenly asked very normally as if nothing happened “Hey stop, you don’t wanna talk? You sound so changed. Anything wrong?” I replied “I want to talk but not now as I am a bit sleepy and I have other priorities in my busy life just like you have.” He was a bit shocked hearing my reply, may be he felt guilty. He apologized. I forgave him as always but I don’t think I will be ever the same as I was before...

“COZ IT'S NOT THAT I DON’T GET HURT, IT'S JUST THAT I AM WAY TOO USED TO IT NOW” 

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