1. Calls the first month of your relationship a "preliminary assessment period.".
2. Talks to the waiter about process flows when dinner arrives late.
3. Congratulates your parents for successful value creation..
4. Your Valentine's Day card has bullet points..
5. Refers to lovemaking as a "win-win."
6. Decides to re-org your family into a "team-based organization."
7. Refers to your date as "testing marketing methods..."
8. Writes executive summaries on your love letters.
9. Ends the argument you have by saying "let's talk about this offline."
10. Refers to you as "my co-CEO."
11. Insist you do market research before getting pregnant.
12. Says your "deliverable" for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills.
13. Asks the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
14. Gives constructive feedback to your dog.
15. Conducts a performance review after having had sex with you.
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